別人都去撞南墻了，我去修南墻一定很賺錢(qián)。

Everyone else has hit the south wall. I must make a lot of money to repair the south wall.

化妝品對(duì)女人而言，是信心；對(duì)男人而言，是幻覺(jué)。

Cosmetics are confidence for women; For men, its an illusion.

詛咒欺負(fù)我們的人，吃面條時(shí)把鼻涕吃進(jìn)去。

Curse our bullies and eat their snot when they eat noodles.

生活看成像白面一樣，其實(shí)不能做太多，否則面不夠

Life looks like white flour. In fact, you cant do too much, otherwise the face is not enough

我討厭的事實(shí)是，你說(shuō)你想我，但你卻什么都不做。

I hate the fact that you say you miss me, but you dont do anything.

某日，白素貞放了個(gè)屁，許仙恍然大悟道：“娘子，莫非你是響尾蛇。”

One day, Lady White Snake farted, and Xu Xian suddenly realized, "Lady, are you a rattlesnake?"

創(chuàng)新，就是把睡過(guò)兩個(gè)月的床單拿起來(lái)抖抖，反過(guò)來(lái)再鋪上。

Innovation is to pick up the sheets that have been slept for two months, shake them, and spread them in turn.

早知道找個(gè)女朋友這么難，我就定娃娃親了。

If I had known it was so difficult to find a girlfriend, I would have decided on young marriage.

朋友圈發(fā)自拍不要太過(guò)分，我們可是見(jiàn)過(guò)面的。

Dont take selfies too much in the circle of friends, we have met before.

你愿意做我的太陽(yáng)嗎？那么請(qǐng)與我保持92955886.7公里。

Would you like to be my sun? Then please keep 92955886.7 kilometers with me.

幸虧長(zhǎng)得丑，沒(méi)有經(jīng)歷過(guò)你們撕心裂肺的愛(ài)恨情仇。

Fortunately, I am ugly and have never experienced your heart-rending love and hate.