導讀別逼我，否則我偉大起來，一發不可收拾。Don'tpushme,orI'llbegreatandoutofcontrol.生活就像新聞聯播，不是換臺就能逃避得....

別逼我，否則我偉大起來，一發不可收拾。

Dont push me, or Ill be great and out of control.

生活就像新聞聯播，不是換臺就能逃避得了的。

Life is like news broadcast, which cant be avoided by changing channels.

眼睛是心靈的窗戶。那么，眼袋是心靈的窗臺。

The eyes are the windows of the soul. So, pouch is the window sill of the soul.

別著急去眺望遠方，應該低下頭來看看腳上的傷。

Dont worry about looking into the distance. You should lower your head to see the injury on your feet.

都說女子無才便是德，我想，我一定是太缺德了。

It is said that a woman without talent is virtue. I think I must be too immoral.

感覺全世界都在訂婚、領證、結婚，只有我在忙著送禮。

I feel that the whole world is engaged, getting a license and getting married. Only I am busy giving gifts.

不知道到底喜歡什么樣的工作，不過可以肯定的是：我根本就不喜歡工作。

I dont know what kind of work I like, but Im sure I dont like it at all.

都說男人膝下有黃金，我快把皮搓掉了，連塊鐵也沒找著！

Its said that theres gold under mens knees. Im going to rub the skin off, and I cant even find a piece of iron!

什么是限制你自由的主要因素？手機充電器的長度。

What are the main factors limiting your freedom? God reply: the length of mobile phone charger.

以前我是沒有擇偶標準，直到遇到你，我告訴自己，你這種不能要。

Before, I didnt have a mate selection standard, until I met you, I told myself, you cant do this.

怎么可能，我都已經把手機調成了飛行模式，從五樓扔下去還是碎了？

How can it be? Ive set my mobile phone to flight mode, dropped it from the fifth floor or broken it?

我用一麻袋的錢上大學，換了一麻袋書；畢業了，用這些書換錢，卻買不起一個麻袋！

I used a sack of money to go to college and exchange it for a sack of books. After graduation, I exchanged these books for money, but I couldnt afford a sack!